That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
