Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize