Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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