we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
