I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
