Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
