you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
