he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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