hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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