Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
