I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
