question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
