i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
