Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
