Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
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Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
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You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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