I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize