Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
