Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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