She is in my trunk
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
