so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
