I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize