He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
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I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
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eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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