is your mom at the bar?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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