did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
