so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
