i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
