Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I don't think brook has ever known best
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize