Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
