Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize