I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
