He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
