OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
