Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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