dude i'm inner monologue high
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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