they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
