with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
false alarm. still invincible.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
