You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Randomize
