I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
