on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
