i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
