I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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