You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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