My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
