we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize