so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
if you like me you must not know who I am
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
