Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
