BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
