i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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