1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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