Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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