Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
