I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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