New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
