We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize