I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
