I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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