I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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