I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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