I wanna bring you to show and tell
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
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Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
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You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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